Richie's Picks: STUCK ON EARTH by David Klass, Farrar, Straus & Giroux,
March 2010, 227p., ISBN: 978-0-374-39951-1
"But can you, save me
Come on and, save me"
-- Aimee Mann
"'Hello, Tom. You don't mind if I call you that, do you? My name is
Ketchvar. Please try to relax. Would you like a cup of water?'
"I modify the paralysis ray to return control of his vocal cords, larynx,
and the other bodily parts required for speech.
"Tom Filber slowly opens his mouth and licks his lips. 'Please don't eat
me,' he whispers. 'I have a rash and it's highly contagious, so if you eat
me you'll catch it and die.'
"'I have no plans to ingest you,' I tell him. I try to recall some other
typical human fears about extraterrestrials and attempt to set his mind at
ease. 'Nor am I interested in dissecting you to learn about human anatomy.
And here's some more good news, Tom -- I also do not intend to try to
impregnate you.'
"My reassurances do not have the intended soothing effect, His blood
pressure surges and he begins hyperventilating, He moistens his lips with his
tongue again and whispers, 'Take my sister.'"
Fourteen year-old Tom Filber has more than enough problems already. He is
oppressed by his mother, tortured by his big sister, bullied by his
schoolmates, and obsessed with his beautiful next door neighbor. Now, after
being chosen randomly, he has been temporarily abducted by aliens orbiting the
planet, and Ketchvar, a snail-like extraterrestrial from a distant galaxy,
has left his shell in order to enter (via Tom's nostril), and take control
of, Tom's brain. Tom's own consciousness will be temporarily locked into a
Ragwellian Bubble and suspended inside his parental lobe where Ketchvar
can communicate with him when it is helpful to do so.
Ketchvar is on a mission for the Galactic Federation in which he is to
evaluate the human race by viewing it through the eyes of this New Jersey
teen. Humanity is already the laughingstock of the Federation and Earth
appears to be dying thanks to humankind's gross mismanagement. There is a
Federation proposal on the table to eradicate the human race in order to protect
the planet's viability and remaining creatures, and to open up a new home
for the Lugonians, whose sun is dying.
Ketchvar, who will make the pivotal recommendation, sends regular updates
to the Federation:
"...It is now two in the morning and I am online and wearing earphones. I
have now listened to every song in Tom Filber's extensive music
collection. These fall into three genres: hip-hop, punk, and industrial. As I
write
this, I am listening to a gangster rapper named Shorty D. Long singing
about putting a cap in his ho.
"One can draw a straight line from the epics of Homer to this rap song by
Shorty D. Long. All of human art seems dedicated to the glorification of
violence and the romanticization of the impulse to procreate. The first is
frequently called warfare and the second is known as love..."
Experiencing Tom's school days and home life, Ketchvar is beginning to
wonder whether their random choice resulted in the examination of a fourteen
year-old from an atypical family, or whether all human families can possibly
be this miserable and dysfunctional. It is when he has steadily become
invested in the interpersonal relationships in Tom's life, and things are
seemingly at their worst, that the Federation's ship inexplicably disappears
from its orbit around Earth and Ketchvar must face the possibility of
indefinitely living the life of a struggling teen, and trying to do something
concrete about saving the planet.
"And more than human can we be
Cause human's truly locked
To this planetary circle"
-- Paul Kantner
Touching, weird, relevant, and a great piece of storytelling, STUCK ON
EARTH is a uber-quirky middle school favorite in the making.
Richie Partington, MLIS
Richie's Picks _http://richiespicks.com_ (http://richiespicks.com/)
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FTC NOTICE: Richie receives free books from lots of publishers who hope he
will Pick their books. You can figure that any review was written after
reading and dog-earring a free copy received. Richie retains these review
copies for his rereading pleasure and for use in his booktalks at schools
and libraries.
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