Barbara and all,
I'm a little behind in keeping up with the messages, but I think there is
one more distinction to be made about praise as a reward. I'm fairly sure that
all of you who responded use praise and rewards correctly -- I'm not sure
what I mean by that, but there's an element of surprise involved. If a child
knows he's going to get a reward, that's an extrinsic motivator, but if the
praise or reward is random, maybe when you spontaneously catch them doing
something right, then they appreciate it more, and it fosters a sense of
satisfaction in themselves.
Somewhere I remember reading that some kids become "praise junkies," usually
the littler ones who have unmet emotional needs at home. I've seen kids give
extra effort and then whine until you give them the praise they feel is due.
Until they've heard the words, "Good job," they don't think the act has
value. Or something like that. I've read that you should say, "That must make you
feel very proud." (Hoping someone else will know more about this & respond).
When I think of my own artistic or musical efforts, I don't really care
about others' praise or compliments or winning prizes-- it has to satisfy me. If
I think I fluffed a performance, I usually hear that praise as hollow. And I
certainly don't read so I can brag on how many pages I got through last
summer. I think we all agree that the things we do most passionately are not for
extrinsic rewards, not even for praise or the esteem of others. And that
includes teaching.
I'll be looking for that Kohn book now.
Julie Dahlhauser, librarian
Anderson Early Childhood Center
620 West Main Street
Brownsville, Tennessee USA 38012
JulDahl@aol.com
dahlhauserj@k12tn.net
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