When I first started this library job I worked a lot with students and I
was very happy. But for some years now I've been in a position to mostly
work with computers and software, staying in the background and making
things run in my libraries. I'm now at a point where I can go back to
working with students at times and I can't get my edge back. I feel very
ill at ease with the students and none of my former "tricks" seem to be
working. I have 8 schools, so I can only see students at part of them. I
very much want to be back in the swing of things and I used to manage
multiple schools very well. I don't really have anywhere that I have a
sense of belonging. I feel like I'm showing up to do lessons when all
teachers want is to get in, check out, and go back to class. I also have
to doubt how much any lessons of mine are actually going to stick with
kids because it has to be so sporadic. I find myself wishing for 3:30
every day, which is something I NEVER did before. (Well, OK, occasionally
on a very bad day.) I'm just not feeling it and I want my old self back!
Is it time to get out, or am I just having a mid-career crisis?
************************************************
Gayle Hodur
District Librarian
Soledad Unified School District
Soledad, CA 93960
ghodur@redshift.com
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