Date: May 1994

Grade Level(s): 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

Subject(s):

• Health/Family Life

Overview:

In an average class of 25 students, between 4 and 6 are Children of Alcoholics (COAs). There will also be children from homes disrupted by other family dysfunctions who have much in common with COAs. In these families, members tend to adjust their behaviors and take on certain roles to cope with the family problem. These survival roles frequently become compulsive, self-destructive and without choices.

Purpose:

To empower participants by giving them some tools to examine their lives, and not to tell them that the way they are behaving is dysfunctional or based strictly on dysfunction.

Objectives: Students will be able to:

1. Examine their behaviors at home, in school, and in their social lives.
2. Assess the extent to which these behaviors are connected to their families or their families' problems.
3. Determine whether or not these behaviors are beneficial to them within and outside of their family environment.
4. Explore alternative patterns of behavior if they choose to make changes.

Materials: None needed but feel free to get creative and have fun with props. You may wish to contact local organizations such as AA, Al-Anon and ACOA for handout materials.

Activities and Procedures:

1. A demonstration family sculpture can be a safe and effective technique to teach family dynamics. To do this, the teacher can read a simple description of a family. Here is an example:

   "I'm going to describe a family to you. First I'm going to describe it with words, then we're going to describe it together by doing what I call a family sculpture. There are 6 people in this family. They are:

1. Dad: The dad is a very successful executive. He works 60 to 70 hours per week. When he comes home, he is very demanding of both his wife and his children. He is not an alcoholic, but nevertheless, his moods are very intimidating. Once, a year ago, he slapped his wife and knocked her down. He has never done that since, but he still controls people with anger.
2. Mother: The mother works part-time at a local library, but spends most of her time taking care of the home, planning social occasions, and overseeing the growth and development of her children. When dad is home, mom has to spend most of her time trying to keep the kids quiet and well-behaved so they do not bother him.
3. Van, The Hero: Van has been very successful at football, and is an excellent student. His father is pleased with him. When Van does not perform well in sports or school, however, his father is extremely critical of him.
4. Linda, The Rebel: Linda is a sophomore in high school, and is doing poorly in school. She dates boys two or three years older than her, and whom her father invariably hates. He forbids his daughter to date these young men. The daughter rebels, but the mother covers up. The mom does not let the father know when Linda is acting out or getting in trouble.
5. Jan, The Lonely One: Jan is quiet, shy, and no trouble to her parents. She spends most of her time in her room.
6. Mickey, The Joker: Nine-year old Mickey is always singing, making noise, and making jokes. He is very cute, has a winning smile, and tends to cheer up the rest of the family.

Now, the teacher will ask students to play the roles. Care should be taken not to place people in roles similar to their roles in real life. The family members are to be placed in relative positions to each other and in poses which describe their roles. Some players may be assigned lines. For example:

• The father can be placed standing on a chair, arms folded, staring sternly across the room above the heads of the rest of the family members.
• The mother can be on one knee in front of her husband with one hand reaching toward her husband. She would look up at him, frightened and concerned. Her other hand would be positioned toward the kids in a manner that indicates "be quiet, stay away."
• The Hero could be standing with a big smile, facing his father, with arms outstretched. In one hand he could have a piece of paper with A+ written on it and in the other a football. Lines: "I'm great, our family is great, we're going to make it. We're going to do really well."
• The Rebel could be some distance from the father, her body facing away, hands on hips, but turned around giving the father the dirtiest looks possible. Lines: "This family stinks. I hate it here. I want to get away from here. They blame me for everything. Get off my back!"
• The Lonely One will be well away from the family, sitting in the floor, hunched over reading a book, facing away from the family.
• The Joker will be right next to dad, hanging on to his pants leg, trying to shake it, smiling up at the father, and trying to get his attention. Lines: "Hey, let's lighten up. Don't worry, be happy. We don't have to worry about our problems, we can just have fun."

Tying It All Together:

1. With sculpture in place, the teacher can ask those not a part of the sculpture:
   • How do you feel when you look at the sculpture?
   • How do you feel about Dad/Mom/Van/Linda/Jan/Mickey?
   • What is each person getting/not getting out of their position?
2. The teacher can also ask each participant in the role-play:
   • How do you feel in the pose?
   • What power do you have/What power are you giving away?
   • What are you doing for the family/What is your family doing for you?
3. All children should be provided with the message that if this activity strikes home to remember:
   • You are not alone.
   • Your parent's alcoholism (or other problem) is not your fault.
   • Alcoholism is a disease.
   • You are a person of worth who deserves to get help for yourself.
4. Interested students can be provided with readings and resources--such as the school counselor, Alanon, etc. if they desire to explore this topic further.